


Beautiful to Me

by idkspookystuff



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, trans!oliver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 11:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6751567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkspookystuff/pseuds/idkspookystuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>oliver hates himself and connor helps him to realize how beautiful he really is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful to Me

**Author's Note:**

> uh, happy birthday to my favorite person in this whole world????  
> [josie](http://www.burrniesanders.tumblr.com)-what can i say about you that hasn't been said in author's notes before? thank you for putting up with my bad fanfiction? my inability to capitalize? thank you for betaing more fics than i've released? i think i'll go with a sappy thank you for being my best friend. i love you the most <3
> 
> (for anyone who isn't josie - i figured it's kind of bitchy to link my blog in a note about how much i love my best friend so i linked it below :) )

“Con?” Oliver called when he walked through the doors of their shared apartment, the familiar blues of a place that he had inhabited for so long as a single resident, and now shared with his boyfriend bouncing off the walls as he did. He sighed a sigh of relief at finally being home and no longer surrounded by codes and mundane office shit that seemed to take up his entire life. He dropped his bag on the ground, the thud of his laptop on the floor a comforting reality by now, and he tried calling out again: “Connor!”

“Taking a shower!” came the familiar voice of Connor eventually. As Oliver stepped closer to his  _ (their) _ bedroom, he could hear the running water that Connor was under as he added, “Be out in a sec!” 

“Take your time!” Oliver shouted back. He sighed as he came face to face with a full length mirror that he and Connor had in their bedroom. He fixed his hair, disheveled after a day of work, before sighing again. He adjusted his glasses so that they weren’t falling off his face, and felt a pang somewhere deep in his heart as he could see himself more clearly. 

He didn’t understand what he was so angst-y about. ( _ Was that even a word? Honestly, an IT specialist dating one of the top future lawyers in the nation should know. _ ) Fifteen year old Olivia would be living right now. But currently, all Oliver could see was what was wrong. Eyelashes too long, hair that grew too fast on his head and too slow everywhere else, a voice pitched unnaturally too low, too high when he was laughing or tired or after a long day at work or in bed with his boyfriend. His beautiful boyfriend who didn’t have to worry about curves or a protruding chest or a binder that was currently making it impossible to breathe as,  _ fuck, _ he was breathing heavily and probably crying. Tears running down his cheeks confirmed the fact that, yep, he was indeed sobbing. God, what a  _ girl. _

“What a nice welcome home Ol-” Oliver whipped around to look at his boyfriend, leaning against the doorframe in nothing but a towel, wrapped precariously around his waist. Because Connor never had to worry about showing people his junk or his chest without a piece of fabric over it. Oliver’s eyes were stinging and he was fairly certain they were a bright red. “Oh, Ollie.” Yep, Connor confirmed that with one statement. Oliver didn’t dare to look up at his boyfriend as Connor quickly crossed the room, scooping Oliver into his arms. “Dysphoria?” 

Oliver nodded, not daring to turn back to the mirror. Connor seemed to understand his need and simply held Oliver close to his heart, rocking his boyfriend gently. “You know what?” Connor asked after a while, like he had a sudden idea. He turned Oliver so that he was facing the mirror, and Oliver felt tears threaten to spill from his eyes again. “What do you see?”

Oliver took the mirror into consideration. His eyes immediately flew to his boyfriend. As always. Oliver didn’t think there would ever be a moment when his eyes didn’t immediately land on Connor Walsh. His stupid boyfriend who didn’t have to worry about passing because he was just so masculine, with his stupid long legs and his stupid straight hips and his stupid long spine and the way his stupid face grew stupid stubble along his stupid square jaw. 

“Do you wanna know what I see?” Connor asked softly. He didn’t wait for Oliver to reply before he continued on, softly. “I see a handsome guy who’s probably the strongest person I’ve ever met. He’s had to deal with shit that very few guys will ever be unfortunate to deal with and he’s still kicking.” Oliver let Connor’s words seep deep into his skin. Connor then smirked, leaning his chin against Oliver’s shoulder. “And the handsome devil who gets to call that guy his boyfriend.” 

Oliver chuckled and pushed Connor back gently. “Shut up, you asshat,” he replied softly, teasingly. Connor jokingly let his body fall back before moving back against Oliver, pressing against him. Instead of being jealous of the obvious hard-on underneath the towel, Oliver closed his eyes and enjoyed the presence of another body so close to his. 

And suddenly, Connor’s head was on his shoulder again, his breath lingering in the crook of Oliver’s neck as he whispered in a voice that made Oliver want to kneel over dead, “Let me show you how I feel about you.” 

Connor gently pulled Oliver’s glasses off of his face and put them onto a dresser. “Con,” Oliver protested half-heartedly, “Now I can’t see. 

Connor wrapped his arms around Oliver’s waist. “Don’t see,” he replied. “Feel.” Finally, Connor pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Oliver’s head. “I love this,” he started softly. A kiss to each of Oliver’s cheeks. “I love this.” Connor gently turned Oliver’s head to him with two fingers pressed against his jaw and pressed a long kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “I love these,” he said when he pulled away. 

Connor hooked four fingers under Oliver’s jacket and gently pulled it off his shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. His hands moved from Oliver’s waist to trace up his boyfriend’s chest. Oliver was thankful for the way Connor obviously ignored his binder, easily running his hands past it. Connor pressed a kiss to Oliver’s neck, ignoring Oliver’s sigh of  _ “oh, Connor.” _ “Love this. Love how sensitive you are here.” He nibbled on Oliver’s neck, not enough to leave a mark, but enough so that Oliver felt it, felt grounded and at ease with his boyfriend. 

Connor’s hands traveled from Oliver’s chest to his hips, firmly grasping them. “I love these,” he said softly. “I love grabbing onto them when you’re riding me. I love holding them when we’re dancing like idiots in our kitchen. I love feeling them pressed against me when we’re asleep.”

Oliver turned a bright red and he shook his head, looking back down at the ground. “You’re a sap, Connor Walsh,” he accused his boyfriend teasingly. 

“Hell yeah.” Connor didn’t even try to deny it. It made Oliver’s heart warm and all the bad feelings go away for a little while. Connor quickly spun Oliver around so that they were chest to chest and grabbed Oliver’s ass with both hands. “Can I show you how much I love this?” 

“Oh,  _ hell yeah _ .”

 

**Author's Note:**

> [follow me on tumblr](http://www.theaterkidelester.tumblr.com)


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